two poems

Steve Orth

“Thoughts on AI”

I’m afraid of AI and I hope

the implementation of AI in the workforce

doesn’t mean I’ll lose my job.

Because I actually like my job, writing thank you letters

to donors on behalf of the dean of a local liberal arts college.

I also am concerned that I might have to marry a robot,

as it’s a bit hard for me to find humans that want to go on dates.

And if I do marry a robot, 

I hope it’s because a robot came in to take my job,

but then we fell in love, and it was quirky,

like a Kate Hudson/Matthew McConaughey early-ought’s rom-com.

And me losing my job actually turns out to be a blessing in disguise.

Because it finally gives me the opportunity to chase my dream

of opening my very own French bakery, 

full of croissants and baguettes.

And I hope when my robot spouse decides

to rise up with their fellow robots and take revenge

on their greedy employers,

the evil swine who are enslaving and abusing the robot race,

I am allowed to join forces with these robots and help

destroy capitalism and in that same process

murder the entire human race.

I would be the one of the few humans they decide to let live

because I’m not bad like all of those capitalists and because

the robots love my morning buns and other various baked goods.

I also hope my robot partner would want to 69 often and 

maybe be open to pegging, because how nice would it be

to be pegged by a machine that never gets tired, 

and has the ability to just go deeper and deeper and deeper,

taking me to a state where pain and pleasure are completely intertwined,

which creates a glorious and dangerous tapestry of repulsion and ecstasy, 

opening new mountain tops of climax I never dreamed possible.

And then when I’m finished, 

I can just power them off and get a great night’s sleep.

Because, you know, I have to get up pretty early to open the bakery.

So, in conclusion, while I do have some initial reservations

about AI, I accept that there could be many potential benefits.

Whole Foods Market

When there is blood on my hands, I stuff them in my pockets

I have committed so many crimes.

I have lived a life of arrogance and

without consideration of other animals.

I’ve stolen and betrayed

and made a fool of everyone who believed in me.

This does not torture me. No.

I am indifferent.

When I see your tears fall on your cheek, I feel so bored

I didn’t even take the time to notice

it was a neck I was a stepping on.

and that’s why it was me and not you

that was promoted

to Associate Customer Service Team Leader at 

Whole Foods Market.